Beauty in Northern Thailand

Deep breath. Mmmm. Fresh air. I had forgotten how beautiful Thailand is. My home is in a flat area; a small town. We are missing much of the vegetation and beauty that flows through the rest of Thailand. But, on my bus ride up to Nan, I began to remember. Looking out the window, watching strands of water streak across the side of the bus, I saw mountains of lush green, dips where rivers and streams flowed through. Clouds hovered just below the tops of the mountains hiding some of the beauty that lay beneath. Jumping off of the bus, I took a deep breath. I noticed that I was not hot. In fact, it was almost chilly…almost. The sticky humidity that I feel day in and out was left at my site…yes, I love Northern Thailand.
It took me 11 hours to get to Nan (9 of those riding the bus) and I ended up staying for 3 full days teaching at an English camp. Each day we had a different age group that we were teaching and we adapted our lessons to match. The first day, I taught 1-3^rd graders about fruit. We played a game where they would run up to the board and attempt to be the first one to slap the fruit that I would call out. The 2^nd day we taught 4-6^th graders and the 3^rd was 7-9^th graders. In both of these sessions, I was in charge of teaching them about clothes. In this class, after teaching them the words, I would have the kids run to the front of the room and put on the clothes that I would call out (skirt, bra, boxers, pants, shirt, etc…) and then have them tell me what they are wearing. What was interesting to see was that the 4-6^th graders actually knew more English than the 7-9^th graders. When I asked about this, I learned that many of the older students were actually from the local hill tribes and they were only able to come to this school when space was available. Often times, openings were not available until the students were older, so they were not educated the same, or in English, like they would be if they were able to join the school at a younger age.

This is a picture of me and one of the students after she put on some of the clothes. *Yes, I was holding up the peace sign…it's a thing in Thailand
This English Camp was super fun. My host, a volunteer named Megan, served us French toast with syrup, Cereal, Jello Shots, Apples, seedless grapes, chocolate chip cookies, etc…delicious. She also had a local coffee shop that made pretty good coffee.
Since Chiang Mai was only a little ways away, I decided to wake up early the day after the camp and head over there on my way home since a few other volunteers had to go through there as well. Once there, I headed straight for Starbucks and sat there reading my book for an hour or so. I was about 30 minutes into it when I looked up and started to listen…I could understand every conversation in the place…everyone was speaking English. Definitely an American moment. We also at an amazing salad place…I haven't had a good salad in 8 months…AMAZING. And, of course, I had to pick up my farang essentials on my way out at the local farang store.
I was only in Chiang Mai for a very short trip, but it is a beautiful city. It is very easy to get around either by walking or song taew and everything is much cheaper there than BKK. I purchased a silver ring and earrings made by the local Karen tribe and I picked up a silver (maybe fake) bracelet with elephants on it from a local shop. It was a good day. I can't wait to go back there and hang out again.
Now, it's back to my real life. After catching up on some much needed sleep, I hope to spend a couple evenings this week with the poo-soon-ayu group (elderly group) and join them for their Thai Chai and meditation. After a few weeks of getting to know the elderly in my community, I hope to start in on one of my projects I designed with my Balot.

The Up Side of Things

I'm closing in on my first month in my new home. Reflecting back on this month, I can feel much of the stress, fear, and that feeling of being trapped being washed away by feelings of relief, comfort, and content. That pull telling me that I am not where I am supposed to be, that pull that tells me to leave, to explore other opportunities is muted. Don't get me wrong, it is still there, in the background ready to jump out shouting on a dreary day, but it is controlled, it is domesticated. I feel myself smiling, not because I am obligated to, but because I really want to. I feel freer than I have ever felt in Thailand. As much as I love Thailand, and the culture of family and togetherness that the Thai's all hold so dear, it isn't something that I am comfortable practicing every day, every moment of my life. I am independent. I need my space, my time alone to reflect, be myself, and just take a breath. My house has given me this. It is my haven that is mine alone. I don't have to share this space with anyone else; I don't have to worry about someone else's feelings or views if I choose to sit on the floor feet sticking out in a tank-top and underwear eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner.

Seven months with host families has reinforced what I already knew; I cannot live with groups of people. Back when I was attempting to find affordable apartments in Seattle, people used to tell me too find a place with a roommate. They told me it would be cheaper; much easier on me and my bank account. I would tell them that this would not be possible. I cannot live with people. When I live with someone else, I want to cater to them. I try to make sure they are comfortable, that they like the living arrangement without thinking about what I want. I need to be selfish when it comes to living arrangements; I need to live alone.

Work is much better as well. Since coming back from Reconnect in the beginning of July my desk has been moved to my Balot's office so we can get to know each other better. We can carry on simple conversations and are able to joke around with each other now. Often, he takes me out to lunch. He has tried to take me to various restaurants in the area so I can get a feel of what eat one has. Most of the time, he ends up paying for it as well saying that I am a dek-dek (child) so it would not be right for me to pay. Although, this is slightly demeaning to me, I enjoy the fact that I can save up a little bit more money. I pay him back by buying him ice cream or coffee every once in a while. I have started to travel around for English Camps, helping out fellow volunteers. I may be travelling far to the north for my next English camp. I am on the Thai Youth Theater Committee and am helping to put on a 3 day conference that will take place at the end of January. I have also started my first project at site that I am hoping to flourish in the next month or so. I feel like I am finally accomplishing something, doing something for my community, the people of Thailand instead of just sitting around for months on end waiting for something to come to light.

Now, don't get me wrong. I still have many moments where I question why I am here; what I am doing. I still wonder if I will be able to accomplish something that I will be proud of in the two years that I am placed in Bangrakam. I wonder if this is still for me. Do I still have the drive to do this for another year and a half? Even though I am much more content with my life, I still find myself search for alternatives. I have looked at a VISTA program in New York that looks amazing, orphanage projects in Thailand and Africa that could definitely be fulfilling, and I have thought about going back to school. I don't think 1 month and a house and relieve the doubts and fears that have been roaming through my head for 7 months. I don't believe that these doubts will ever be completely gone for the duration of my service, but I do believe, that my downward slump is slowly looking up. I have things to look forward to, things to strive for and be excited about. And, I have to remember, just being here could make a difference, some change that I am not even aware of.

I am ready to take on my role (whatever that is). I am ready to commit time and effort into each day that I am here.

 

September 5^th

I just came back from a 3 day conference and am about to add another project (or 4) to my list of things to do. The conference was about Project Design and Management. My Balot joined me at the conference, along with 14 other volunteers and their counterparts, in designing a project surrounding the elderly in my area. In the next year, we want to help the elderly create and run 5 occupational groups to help generate income. We also want to put into place monthly check-up with the local hospital for the elderly as well as an exercise program. From my end, I also want to enable the elderly, as well as other villagers, with diabetes, to have a way to get their blood sugar checked once a day. Currently, diabetics are only able to get this checked 1x per month. There are so many projects that I will hopefully be able to help put into place surrounding the elderly in my village. I hope I am able to get it all done and find someone to continue on with it all once I leave.

____

You will never guess what I got to eat in BKK this weekend. Mexican!!!! I haven't had Mexican in 8 months and this weekend I went to two (yes, I said two) fabulous Mexican restaurants in Bangkok. What did I eat you might ask…a lot. Here is the breakdown: Chips and salsa, queso (2x), chicken enchiladas, chicken quesadilla, guacamoles, pitchers of margaritas, nachos…all super delicious. You don't know how amazing Mexican food tastes until you had to wait so long to eat it. Mouth watering amazingness.

----

Last week, while sandbagging in my community, I had one of my fun, everything goes bright then black moments. This one was a little scarier than previous ones that I had because I was in the middle of sand, people, and I had mud trying to keep me from walking away from it all with each step that I took. I hadn't told anyone in my village about these blacking out incidences because I didn't want them to worry about me. So, when this did happen in the group of people, I wasn't able to explain what was going on or get assistance. As soon as I felt the pressure in my head and the faces of the people in front of me began to wash out into brightness, I quickly attempted to make my exit. Everything turned out fine, but I sent another email to the Peace Corps doctor anyways. We talked on the phone for 10 minutes on Friday and decided to just continue to monitor what is happening. He is pretty positive that there is nothing too serious occurring and that the tests that I would have to go through to discover what is going on would be more stressful and tiring than my episodes themselves. If in a few months, the number of incidences progresses, or there are changes in my symptoms, he will have me head back to Bangkok and start a series of tests. For now, mai-bpen-rai (no worries).

 

What do I have coming up:

-Present my findings for my Ovitrap test that I did on my own

-Go to Chiang Mai on a bpai-tiao (vacation) in two weekends – maybe

-Work an English Camp in N. Thailand for 5 days

-Start working on my projects for the Elderly

-Start running to get ready for my Ocean to Ocean Relay http://www.runningthailand.net/index-eng.php

-Work on the PCPP (financial) application to get funding for the Thai Youth Theater Conference

-Write a letter to a 1^st grade class in Vancouver, WA describing my experience in PC so far

 

Whew!!! September looks like it is going to be a busy month. Things are going well….life is good. I think I was told today that I will be switching offices (again) and moving across town to the community development office. I don't know if I totally understood what they were saying, but if I understood correctly, I can soon walk to work if I want because my office will be about 500m from my house.

Right now, I am enjoying my raspberry lemonade (Thanks Amanda) at my desk looking out the window waiting for the first drops of rain to pass by. There is a wind, a particular wind, in Thailand that you just know will lead to rain within minutes. When the leaves start blowing a certain way, flags dance around their poles in a particular fashion, and branches wave at you with a certain sway, women run out of their homes to collect the drying laundry, children run into their homes to wait for the rain to cease, and umbrellas are donned by most people you see. This is the wind that I know is blowing outside of my window. The sky is rumbling in response to the wind. The building shakes a little with each reply the thunder gives. Rain? Where are you? I know you will be here soon….(30 sec later)…There it is.

3.5 Months until I had home on a short vacation!!! Can't wait!! Food, friends, and family!!!